Your Turn (July-August 2008)

A reader from Cebu City reflects on our article Welcome home, my little star, by Heidi Lyn Veran. Being able to relate to the story, Restituto also shares his own experience that has helped him get over his painful past.

Dear Fr Seán Coyle,
I just read the May-June 2007 issue of the prestigious Misyon. The article, Welcome home, my little star, by Heidi Lyn Veran, awakened painful memories of my past. I found her sad story almost identical to mine.

Our eldest brother went astray and enjoyed a wild life with his friends resulting in failing grades in all his subjects. The high expectations and dreams of our father had turned to dust. He gave up on my brother and never sent him, nor us, to school again.

I never lost hope. I left home in search of a brighter horizon. I found a benevolent family in the city who promised me that after two years’ stay with them, and if I could reach their standards, they would send me to school. I had no choice but to accept their proposal. From then on my Calvary started. I did all the major and minor household chores, which I had never done at home, without compensation. I also had to look after their baby, which was supposed to be the prime duty of the mother. All this hard work and more I did just so I could finish high school.

After high school I applied as a working student in a prestigious university in Cebu, the ‘Queen City of the South’. My venture was a fruitful one and eventually I became a Certified Public Accountant (CPA). God is so good. He guided me through my journey and gave me strength and encouragement when I was at my lowest.

Getting married was another event in my life. Due to my meager income, I asked for financial help from my father to defray my wedding expenses. He never answered my letter. He completely ignored and turned his back on me. He pretended to be deaf to my pleas. During my sleepless nights it seemed nobody would rescue me from the dungeon of despair. I questioned God again whether there was justice, whether there was fairness. Was my father created as a useless being, existing only for himself and not minding people around him especially his children who needed most his love and support? His lack of compassion had driven me farther away. I hated him to the point that I almost wanted to disown him.

My father and I lived in two different worlds. He lived in his own and I continued to exist in mine, taking seriously my responsibility as a husband and father to our little angel. For a long time our lines of communication were totally cut off.
The passing of time has changed everything. My father suffered a severe stroke due to hypertension. He was on the brink of death. The mistakes he had done in his life while he was still in good health were overpowered by God’s mercy.
God, in His infinite kindness touched my raging heart and turned my hatred to love. I longed to see my dying father. I begged for his forgiveness. Forgetting all the pain he caused would surely pacify my heart. When I looked at him on his deathbed, I realized that I would not be what I am today without my father. He should remain my father worthy of being loved in spite of everything. After all, I owed much of my life to a person whom God created to be the steward of my body and soul.

Very respectfully yours,
Restituto G. Rojo