By: Leticia Bartolome, ICM

Looking for Flowers
“When you live amid rocks the heart is bound to cry out for flowers.” The source of the quotation is a Benedictine nun who wrote in poetry about the “rocks” of everyday life. I met the passage almost twenty years ago when I newly-arrived missionary in Hong Kong, and have always liked it. I was determined not to remain “crying out flowers” but to look for flowers in Hong Kong, literally and figuratively.

Concrete Jungle
To live in Hong Kong is to live on rocks, on granite. In its early days it had been describe as “a barren rock,” a barren island with hardly a house upon it”. Today, commercial buildings, high rise apartments, fly-overs, subways, bridges and tunnels have the once barren rock into a concrete jungle wherein almost seven million people live and do business. Presently more than ninety thousand of these are Filipinos.

City of Joylessness
Hong Kong is a wealthy place, and it continues to prosper. Yet life seems to become harder. It has been called a “City of Joylessness”. Just like any other progressive place it has its own share of moral and social problems: broken homes, suicide, mental and psychological breakdowns, to name only a few, In our apostolic involvements ICM-HK tries to bring Christ’s message of hope, joy and love. We are in the field of catechetics, in parishes, in education, in medical socio-pastoral services.

Flowers in People
My heart “cried out for flowers”. I found them in people and in places where help was needed, whether it’s living with wayward teenaged girls, in teaching, in the parish choir, or with the group of Filipino migrant workers. Presently I am the warden of a home for twenty five mentally handicapped women and men with ages ranging from sixteen to fifty.

Flowers of a Lifetime
Last may, 1992 I celebrated the silver Jubilee of my religious profession with my thirty day retreat. I had a great time gathering together the flowers I have found and have receive from people and events. How these flowers have influenced my life! Friendships, courage, love, patience... and many more. They abound in this “City of Joylessness” if only we would open our eyes and heart. Even in our “convent” on the eight floor apartment in a block near the Hong Kong International Airport, surrounded by other blocks, “Flowers” are there giving joy. I thank God for them.

Disturbing Questions
One day two staff members suddenly feel ill. They could not come to work and had to take a leave. “Sister, can you please step in and help us bath Chin Wah”, called one attendant.

Chin Wah
Chin Wah was a mentally disabled person in her late twenties, weighing more than two hundred pounds. She crawled in a crab-like manner when she wanted to move independently. Since the home facilities were not made for people with disabilities like hers, she remained lying in the bathroom floor waiting for us to give her attention and care. She was very weak and vulnerable. I watch her as the attendants prepared for the bath. I struggled within my self: “Why, oh why do you not yet take to heaven people like this, my God? Why are they still here in such a condition?” A soft voice within my heart spoke: “To teach you to be kind and patient. To show you many other values in life”. To make you appreciate simple blessings in your own life”. These words used to have meaning for me, this time they were empty. More Struggle within: “Why should I be a better person at the expense of others?”

More Questions
The questions remained long after our “heavyweight” CHIN WAH had left. She was with us on a two week respite care to give her parents days of rest and recreation. I started feeling sad while at work, pensive at the sight of persons with disabilities. No answer pierced the dark clouds of my questions: as long as I see myself as a giver, or as receiver I will not be fully happy where I am.

Memorable Day
A day will never forget- The Feast of All Souls. The priest celebrating our community Mass, oblivious of what happening within me, spoke of death as an “equalizer”  which everyone will meet, no one poorer at its face. The answer pierced the dark clouds of my question: as long as I see myself as a giver, or as receiver I will not be fully happy where I am.

To Live with Love
God has called me to Hong Kong to live with persons who are my sisters and brothers. No one more important than the other, not even me with “my services” to disabled people. I am called to live life with others and savor God’s graces in its beauty even in its imperfections.

“Why should I be a better person at the expense of others?”