KEEP GOING!

By Gracebelle Montecillo

'Keep going!!! Don't stop believing because God has His own purpose!' These are the words I keep repeating to myself whenever I am struggling with something or from great pressures of life. I grew up without a father and lived a simple life. I was a church-oriented girl willing to serve God as my Master. Life was not easy for me because I kept all the pain inside and an image of strength outside. I believed that showing that I was strong would give Nanay courage to continue living for us. I knew deep inside that my mother had so many burdens and I didn't want to be one of them.

I dreamt of nothing but to raise our family from poverty. God was aware of what I really felt for I wa always talking to Him, sharing my problems and burdens. He kept on helping us through other people, among them Father Seán and the Columban Fathers who guided us along our journey.

I went to a state university for a course that was affordable but of quality. All I wanted was to finish my studies, to have a job in order to help my mother and my family out of poverty. At a time when I thought this was almost in reach of hands there came the biggest trial that even turned me into a 'demon' for a while. I was about to have my on-the-job-training as a requirement for our graduation. I took entrance examinations with a number of companies but all failed me.

I continued to ask God to help me at those times but couldn't feel that He was there. It was a turning point because after several failures I'd decided to give up. I asked God, 'Out of so many people why me?' I, who tried to live according to His plan was now asking His help but He refused me. Rebellion was in my heart. Although I continued to go to Mass, I kept on questioning Him: 'Why me?'

In the midst of rebellion my 'weak heart' was still longing for someone to understand what I was going through. I almost gave up but came to a point when I realized that I couldn't do anything without God. I was afraid to live without my Lord. I knelt before Him and asked for forgiveness for what I'd done.

God indeed is so good! Blessings came. Laguna Electronics Inc (LEI) was in need of two OJTs (on-the-job trainees) with a salary of P100 per day! At first I hesitated but thinking that I really wanted to graduate, I accepted. Now I'm training at LEI and God really works in a mysterious way. Although I can't send money to my family because of my financial status, I am learning many things through my experience with the company. After almost two months of training, I've acquired the knowledge that their technicians have. This is life for me, full of struggles but still persevering to be strong not only for myself but for my family.

I nearly gave up but still got up and said, 'I can do this because God is the Strength of this weak human heart of mine'. So no matter how tough life gets, I will keep going because God has His own purpose. Trust Him like a child and doubt Him not, because with Him, nothing is impossible!

You may email Gracebelle at bellegrace_17@yahoo.com.ph