By Fr Michael Cuddigan MSSC

I was the second of the four children, our eldest became a Poor Clare Colettine contemplative nun. Two boys, who went on to be a doctor and a lawyer, followed me. We were a close-knit family, doing many things together but not involved in any of the town social activities. But I could recall my mother always talking about the hungry children in Africa.

The value of frequent visits to the Blessed Sacrament, the Holy Rosary and the Mass were very much part of my growing up. While going through secondary school, two other options were in my mind: ship’s radio officer or engineer. In my final year I decided that I wanted to become a priest, my way of expressing gratitude to God for all His love for me. Having a Columban uncle, Michael Cuddigan who was then serving as a Columban in Australia, was a deciding factor – though he never tried to influence me. My model of priesthood was very much that of the local priests. Television was not long in. I can’t say I had any clear idea what being a missionary was all about but I never had any attraction to serve at home, always abroad.

Endurance

Seminary days were more a time of endurance than anything else. I think it gave me some general formation and increased my awareness of the permanence of priestly commitment. The Columban Fathers have been more than generous facilitating my studies over the years. As I have grown as a person at all levels new forms and possibilities of ministries have shown themselves to me. This has kept the excitement alive in my life.

Discovering my gifts

From 1971 to 1983 I was assigned in the Philippines and was basically parish-based. During this time I had direct responsibility for hospital and college ministry. In my later years here, there was a growing awareness of my giftedness in the area of spiritual direction and retreat ministry. While enjoying general parish work, spiritual direction gave me a lot of personal fulfillment because it enabled me to use my full creativity as a person. The early years were ones of slowly being enculturated into the Philippines and learning a whole new way of life and identity as a person and as a missionary. I left Philippines in 1983 for a new assignment in Australia and then New Zealand. It was unexpected and yet affirming. It was a time of refreshment for me. After that, I was assigned for five years in Ireland – those were wonderful years of re-bonding with my family and old friends.

Back to Mindanao

After nearly a ten-year absence, I came back to Mindanao. I have been on vocation ministry and directed retreats since my return. My first year back was quite difficult, with family bereavement, on top of my recovering the language with feelings of vulnerability back in a foreign culture. I had changed personally and ministerially, as had also the local culture. So it was a time of much personal adjustment and integration.

Major changes were obvious in the Columban scene from being needed to one of vulnerability, of decreasing numbers and the ageing factor. The local Church now has the ever-increasing ability to care for itself, unlike when I was here many years ago. The future of our presence here is very much an open question. Are we like Abraham at the end of a journey and maybe able to sense what the future has in store but also aware that it is out of our hands, except maybe to facilitate the passage of the younger members? Regardless of my future here I am glad that I returned and remained open to whatever God offers me here or elsewhere.