Sister Josefina Santos, spc (extreme left) with her companions in Hong Kong

By Sr. Josefina Santos SPC

I grew up in the lovely island of Culion. One day I strayed and found myself in unfamiliar territory walking along a river bank. Because most of the stones were big and slippery I had to walk slowly and with great difficulty so as not to fall. From time to time there were huge boulders, wild bushes, and twisted branches of trees blocking my way. All these obstacles however did not deter me from pursuing what I had set out for – to find the church.

Which Way?

I must have been walking for hours and hours before I came to a fork dividing the river into two. I was in a dilemma as to which direction to take when I heard someone calling my name. A friend and neighbor, Estelita, was swimming in the middle of the fork in the river. When I called to her to ask where the church was, she pointed to the right, shouting and frantically waving at the same time, “This way! Go this way!” For some reason, I didn’t believe her.

Faraway Church

With slow and agonizing steps I set out again but to the left. I walked on and on until, with my back bent and my head drooping from tiredness, I happened to look up and saw  a Sister of St. Paul standing on high ground overlooking the river.  It was Sr. Raphael, and I had known her when I was a child. I was so happy and excited. Of course, she knew! “There is the Church!” I walked up towards her, then looking at the direction of her pointed finger I saw a vast sea, and on a far distant island the white outline of a church. My heart sank! The sight of the sea and the distance I still had to travel took all my courage away, and with it went my strength and determination to continue my journey.

Just a Dream

Dejectedly I turned back to where I came from. An in no time I was home. Odd, but the way back was easy and quick. Then I woke up. It was a dream, a dream which still remains so vivid and fresh in my memory even after more than forty years.

Go On or Give Up

I find this dream so meaningful for it matches the story of my vocation, except the ending. In my dream I turned back, in reality I continued my search. Like my dream, I met so many obstacles. Twice I applied to enter the Sisters of St. Paul in the Philippines and twice I was rejected. I couldn’t pass the medical examination. The fork and my friend urging me to take the wrong direction represented the time when I was about to leave the Philippines and go abroad to get work. I was so overwhelmed with sadness – I was leaving my dear family and my country. “Perhaps I had no vocation,” I thought. I was ready to back out. Thank God, I didn’t.

Finding the Church

So, like my dream, I found my ‘church’ – beyond the seas. I was accepted in the Sisters of St. Paul inHong Kong. I did my noviciate in Rome in 1966 and my formation in London in 1968. Now I am here in Hong Kong as a professed Sister.

Way in the Back Door

God’s ways are indeed strange. On my first home visit to the Philippines, I went to the Provincial House I Antipolo. As I joined the other Sisters in prayer in the chapel, I was in awe. I couldn’t help thinking to myself, “I am not supposed to be here, and yet I am. I was not allowed to enter the front door, but God opened the back door for me.” In a flash the only proverb I could remember from my Spanish class back in college came to me, “El hombre propone, pero Dios dipone!” (Man proposes, but God disposes.)